


All the losing and the knowing

by Wolfsheart



Series: Angst Prompt Series [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anger, Angst, Angst and Feels, Blood and Injury, Brothers, Canon Divergence - Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Canon-Typical Violence, Dutiful sons, Fist Fights, Frigga Feels (Marvel), Gen, Heavy Angst, Penitence, Physical Abuse, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:54:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27722408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfsheart/pseuds/Wolfsheart
Summary: Thor tries to solve all the problems between himself and Loki the way he always has: with violent fists and ugly words, but will he get to the bottom of why his brother isn't trying to fight him back?
Relationships: Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Series: Angst Prompt Series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2027723
Comments: 8
Kudos: 18





	All the losing and the knowing

**Author's Note:**

> This is from the [Angst Prompt List on Tumblr](https://teadrinkingwolfgirl.tumblr.com/post/624914433076051968/angst-prompts). Scottxlogan gave me the prompt: 33. “I thought it would help, but I just feel empty.”

* * *

The third time Thor's fist connected with his face, Loki heard the crunch of his nose. He raised his hand there, and it came away covered with blood. 

He and Thor had been fighting since his adopted brother had revealed his illusion to the Asgardians in the garden. Fair enough, the play had been horrible; the actors were talentless – save the one portraying Odin – and even Loki had been forced to pretend that it was an accurate portrayal of his 'death' on Svartalfheim. 

The fight had started out as a yelling match. Well, Thor was yelling, and Loki tried to explain to deaf, angry ears. Their voices echoed through the palace until they were, at last, in the throne room. Thor threw the first punch when Loki spun around to face him. 

What felt like a decade later, here he was, nose broken and bloodied, covered in bruises that even with his seiðr would take over a week to heal, by his inability to stand, his right ankle was likely shattered, and there were deep finger marks around one half of his throat, the deepest right at his windpipe where Thor's thumb had pressed the hardest. 

Now Thor hauled him up to his feet, and the soft Ljossalfar-made tunic he wore began to rip as his brother shook him. Loki's head snapped back until his eyes focused on Thor's feral grin. 

"I should kill you, Lie-Smith," the elder prince snarled, and for a second, he was startled by the flash of eagerness in Loki's gaze. "But I won't." 

His brother's disappointed visage brought the Thunder god's fist to his mouth, at the same time pummeling the Trickster backward to slam his shoulders into the throne before he was crumpled to the floor in front of it. Slowly, Thor approached, fixed on the way Loki remained prone, staring up at the painted ceiling above him.

"Loki, why aren't you fighting back? You could use your magic. Why..."

But his words cut off before he could finish whatever new insult he was about to issue. Thor was surprised to find fat tears rolling down Loki's cheeks until he was prompted to look at what gripped his brother with such a cruel hand that it wrenched a rare response from the icy prince. 

"I thought letting you hurt me would help, Thor," Loki answered at last before wiping the blood from his bloody mouth. "I believed it might, at last, let me feel as if I'd been penitent long enough." 

Together, Thor and Loki stared up at the smiling visage of their mother. The great Queen had loved them both equally in her own way, and Thor had, perhaps, never forgiven Loki for that, just as Loki had never forgiven him for the unequal love of their father. Thor had thought Loki incapable of feeling this much regret and sadness over Frigga's death. He parted his lips but not even breath would come. 

"But there is nothing but...emptiness where my heart once was. Frigga took it with her to Valhalla...and it turned to ash in her hand before she could enter its gates." 

Thor reached a gentler hand toward Loki just as his brother dissolved into sobs that shook the ground of Asgard. 


End file.
